A Letter to Ro on his Third Birthday

Happy golden birthday to my first baby. Today, you are 3 years old, the best 3 years of my life. In so many ways, it seems like you were just born. Like you were just wearing onesies, watching Mickey Mouse in your jumper and eating rice cereal with a bib on your chest. But in many others, it seems like you’ve been two for a while now— perhaps that’s because of quarantine or maybe it’s because we’ve watched you grow up so much since you’ve become a big brother. Partly because you’ve had to but also just because you’re learning so much every day and your independence is blooming at a rapid rate. Two was a big year for you - once you started talking, you never stopped and your vocabulary is flourishing (though we could do without the god damn it’s!). You developed a love for the water through your swimming lessons. You have amazed us on a regular basis with your numbers, colors, shapes, dinosaur species, presidents names and more. We tried basketball class - You weren't a huge fan. We potty trained (big thanks to m&m's). And most of all, you became a big brother to sweet Lawson. You have adjusted to this change with more patience than I imagined and we love watching you get excited when he wakes up in the morning and kiss him goodnight. Thank you for sharing us with him.

You are truly your own person, I have learned. You have a wild and curious spirit that can never be tamed. Your laugh is infectious, the best sound my ears have ever heard. You are painfully stubborn, persistent and focused which makes makes for MANY challenging moments now but these are qualities I’m confident will serve you well later in life. You never run out of energy, doing everything full-speed until the moon is high in the sky and you have no other choice but to fall down and sleep. You really don’t like art activities. You really DO enjoy music. You love little figurines you can carry around, sleep with and take in your bath. You’re extremely nurturing - to your stuffed animals (your “friends”), your baby brother, even the squirrels and birdies we find on our walks. You want to pet them all, squealing “aww, they are so cute!” You have a beautiful face with a smile that makes us all weak, which always makes us cave for one more “fruit nack” or another “green M.” You’re still very passionate about Peppa pig: her show, your comfort...her camper van, your favorite toy and Peppa world, which we visited in Michigan almost a year ago to the day. You are still asking when we can go back...”Soon,” I say. A little white lie, as this measure of time, "soon," hasn’t applied to many of our favorite adventures for some time now.

But despite how much has changed in our lives since Covid began, we’ve had some of the best times at home together - I mean, how lucky are we to HAVE this Family time? We recently took a walk down our block together, your tiny hand in my left and your bug catcher in my right. You decided we should sit down right there, in the middle of the sidewalk with our magnifying glasses and look for ants. You gathered a few leaves we could use to scoop them up and we just waited. I knew brother and dad were waiting for us at home but I could not possibly rush this moment. It was so exquisitely simple - I watched your eyes dart back and forth as microscopic ants made paths on the pavement. You thought every curved stick was a worm, holding out hope. Our street was fairly quiet and you were so content to just be there with me and I felt the same. I am quite serious when I say it is THESE small and insignificant moments that I never want to forget. When you inevitably start shutting your bedroom door for privacy or the first time you take our car to pick up your friends, I want to remember how we looked for bugs together...I wish we always could.

As you turn another year older, I want to remember how you call out “mama! Mama!” a thousand times a day, saying you just want to see me or give me a “huggie.” How you want me to lay on your sheep beside your bed at night. How we end each day talking about our favorite parts and singing a song. How obsessed you are with the vacuum. How you talk about Santa all year long. How we have indoor picnics on the big blanket. How you ask dada and I “you wanna come?” anytime you go anywhere. How you want us to sit RIGHT next to you when you play. How you live for going to the lake house. How we took walks every night this Summer to see the "kitty and puppy" and the "owls eyes" (neighbors lawn decor) and how excited it makes you. 

How it sounds when your feet run across our kitchen floor. How you come downstairs in the morning in your paw patrol pjs and we lazily watch Peppa and make breakfast. How much you love life, not wanting to miss a single thing. How much you care for your family and friends - unconditionally. How excited you get when your grandparents come over. How badly you want to sit in everyone’s car and “drive” to the coffee shop. Our Peet’s dates by the fountain. How we say “I love you to the moon...and back.” Because I really do - I hope you know...you mean the world to me.

I want to hold on so bad - more than anything. I want to keep you home forever with me, snuggle in your chair at night and read every story on your shelf. I want to sit beside the bath tub and watch as you let your imagination run wild, splashing, singing and talking to your toys. I want to sit next to you on the swings, climb into the clubhouse and laugh as we take turns shimmying down the slide. I want to make smoothies and chocolate chip cookies with you standing next to me on your stool. Brush your teeth at night as we sing the Daniel Tiger song. Help you put on your strappy sandals. Comb your hair. Squeeze you just one second longer...

Here's to year 3 - I hope it's as wonderful as you are. 

Thank you for being you...there's nobody better. 

Love always, 

Mama